Bye bye, 2013

Oh there it is: the last day of 2013.

I cannot believe the year’s over already! It’s gone so quickly… I just love how the city is buzzing with excitement. Everyone has put on something nice and sparkly to welcome the new year.

2013 was a great one. I have settled more into my life in London now, got a permanent contract at work and I am still not tired of this beautiful city. Success!

But it had some rough patches as well. There was a lot to take in as I faced things that I have been avoiding for a very long time. Turns out there’s always something new to learn about yourself.

Luckily there is always a bright side to everything. So facing these issues has been one bumpy ride, yes, but it has shown me again how lucky I am to have such supportive and wonderful people in my life.

My friends have been very understanding and just never get tired of reminding me of the good things when I tend to see only the negative side. As well as my family, whose love and support give me so much strength.

And, boy, did I have good times this year. I’ve spent quite some time at airports going from England to Germany back to England and then four months later do it all over again. London blessed me with another beautiful, warm summer filled with adventures. And going to the pub with ze Jules and other colleagues or spending a day at Westfields with Fatima is adding up to many, many hours of laughter, drinks and food.

And I’ve gotten back into dancing, which will hopefully stay in my life for ever now.

This year was about learning and accepting and having fun. And it was fantastic. Thank you, 2013.

So I don’t have any specific goals for 2014. No long list of things to do or fixed plans to stick to. 2014 is going to be about improvement, preparation and security.

I have to keep my finances is check, mate! And I will probably spend a lot of time studying my buttocks off – these A levels are not gonna write themselves….unfortunately. Another big thing for me will be feeling secure – in relationships and about myself.

And now it's just a couple of hours until midnight…

But tonight I am going to stay inside, have a little piece of chocolate cake and watch the fireworks in my jim-jams.

I wish you all a very happy new year. May 2014 bring you loads of love, laughter and happiness – and a pocket full of magic!

I miss you. I’m missing out.

Once again I am packing my suitcase. Once again I am counting down the days. I am going on holiday. Holidays at home.

It’s been about four months since my last trip to Germany, and I cannot wait to see my loved ones again. Less than a week to go!

I got two weeks off, which will be my longest stay since I left Germany, and even though I have nothing planned really it will be busy.

There are a lot of things happening at the moment and me living in London means that I miss out on most of them.

My cousins just had their babies – two gorgeous little baby girls. The Bestie moved in her first apartment. My Princess and the little Rock star are growing and learning and exploring more and more of the world every day. My brother started his first job. And so on….

Of course I get pictures and emails and I text and Skype and phone them all on a regular basis, but it’s not the same as actually being there.

And it’s not just about the big changes; it’s the small things that I miss the most. Hanging out with my girls. Being unproductive with the Bestie. My old room and the view. Watching telly with the Mumsy. Having breakfast with my brother. Being able to see the stars. Playing with the tabbies. These are the things I miss the most when I’m away.

Don’t get me wrong, I love living here. I choose to do so and I have no plans of changing this in the near future. But it does suck that I am not there to see all those wonderful things happening. And it sucks that I can’t share this beautiful city with them.

But when I’m down I just pick up the phone and call my ladies or my family (wish I could call my cats as well), and that makes it a whole lot easier.

Hamburg's city lights

I spent my last day in Germany with all my favourite people. I saw my girl Marlain and the Bestie and ended the night on the sofa watching a movie with the Mumsy.

The last night is always the hardest because I am torn between going out and staying in. Times like that I do wish I could be in more than one place at the same time.

But let me tell you about Marlain’s and my trip to Hamburg….

We left early Monday morning, ready to explore the North. And against all odds, we did make it in less than 10 hours and in one piece; quite alive too. Our to-do list was quite long and we managed to do…nothing. No, not true.

We walked along the river, which I was very much looking forward to and we even had our own private city guide who, I am sure, has missed walking along the water with me. Unfortunately, I was raining cats and dogs so it was not as great as it could have been. I, living in London, was not much bothered by the wet weather but my girl was very much against spending the night catching a cold so we got hot chocolate and Marlain even lost her falafel virginity.

One thing you can’t miss out on in Hamburg is the Reeperbahn, which is lined with sex shops, brothels and the like. I think it might look a bit creepier during the day than at night but interesting nonetheless. We did not enter one of those buildings, sorry to disappoint on the naughty news front here.

And because we were on holiday we decided to treat ourselves to a few happy hour 4 pm cocktails. Yum! Oh and food, lots and lots of delicious food!

I have to admit, I pictured Hamburg a little differently. Not really more beautiful but maybe more…exciting? When we planned this trip we talked about bars and clubs filled with young, hot, well-dressed people partying the night away, downing shots and popping champagne bottles.

Didn't see any of that. I’m not saying that doesn't happen, we might have just ended up exploring the wrong nightlife part of the city.

But to be fair, tropical cocktails and a good old laugh with my girl is more fun than any club could ever be!

So we left Hamburg with a slight hangover, drenched clothes and – as always – loads of wonderful memories.

Was Hamburg worth the trip? Definitely! The food is incredible up there! Just make sure it won’t rain when you want to go…

I do miss my old room, and my loved ones and sometimes even the quite, but for the first time since I came to London I felt like I could leave Germany without freaking out about it. I usually worry myself sick about everything that might happen while I’m gone but this time I felt like… it’s gonna be okay.

And now that the sun has decided to finally show its face in London, I am (almost) ready for another wonderful summer in the city!

Holidays at home

*what happened yesterday*

Back in Germany.

Although it’s only been four months since I’ve waited at Frankfurt main station in this very same spot, I still need a couple of hours to get used to everything. I’m aware it’s still Europe and just a short plane ride away, but still.

Talking German on a daily basis is not new; everyone else talking German is tho. Everything sounds very different.

I got up at 5 a.m., threw another pair of shoes in my suitcase and headed for the airport. Creepy how quite London can be… But nothing like being surrounded by screaming children in the cosy atmosphere inside of a plane. Hurray! I did manage do snooze for about 10 minutes tho.

And now I am on my way to the countryside. From England’s capital with more than 8 million human beings back to woods, cows and awful public transport. And I am really looking forward to it. Not the damn, basically none-existing, public transport, but to the view from my old room, my cats and family and the Bestie. And to being able to see the stars at night!

(An elderly lady next to me on the train has a plate of cake on her lap. Hmm! Bestie,  get baking!)

Got to admit, I’m a bit disappointed by the grey sky that’s greeting me here! Over the last few days it’d been sunny in good ol’ London town. A bit breezy maybe, but not that grey.  I hope Germany will lighten up a bit, especially up north since I want to walk along the river in Hamburg. No rain!

However, it looks a lot more… springlike here. Very green.

I can’t wait to get to our house, get some kitty kisses, and hugs hugs hugs from my loved ones. Much needed, to be honest.

A blast from the past

As mentioned in my previous post, I went out for dinner with an old friend. We haven't seen each other in about two years and I was really looking forward to catching up with her. As we all know, a lot can happen in two years.
We sat in that bistro for over four hours, chatting, laughing and remembering. There are loads of things to remember. And to laugh about. It was so much fun and I felt happy and really grateful.

Throughout the evening we've recalled awkward situations, adolescent antics, crazy adventures and how that "one special guy" broke our heart. It was fab-u-lous!

After we've said our good-byes and I went home, I thought about how much had changed and happened in the past few years. And that night, I thought of just how amazing it was back then - and how glad I am that all that is in the past.

Sometimes, when I go back in time, I think of how many mistakes I've made just a few years ago and how much fun life was. The friends I've made and lost over the years, falling in love and getting butterflies whenever I've seen HIM... Oh the memories!
But isn't that what your teenage years are all about? Making mistakes, losing and winning, loving and hurting? Just to explore the world and yourself and everyone else? Getting drunk, being stupid, partying the night away? Be wild! And I have done that. All of that. And it was incredible!


Some day, you want to know who you are. And I think, this is just such a big part of becoming that person. And, in all honesty, I am so glad I have done all those things back then. Because, really, I wouldn't want to do that now. Being a teenager is hard. Really, it is. But being an adult isn't any easier.
So enjoy it. Every mistake you make, every heartbreak, every crazy adventure you start, just enjoy it! Because one day, those will be the stories you'll laugh about for hours.

So, be wild, children. Be wild.

Yes, you can be jealous of my life

...because three people have complimented my nail polish today! YES!



And those compliments have totally outbalanced that someone (who actually calls herself a friend of mine) has tried to motivate me by telling me that my biggest dream will be an absolute fail. Ah, yes, I'm a lucky lady.

Find the error.

Remember that thing I'm planning that I haven't yet told you about? No? Ah, still can't tell you what it is. But I've told some of my closest friends (obviously including person mentioned above), so they can start getting used to this idea. I mean, it's like life changing. Not exaggerating here. And I was hoping to get some support, of course. Haha, yeah...no...

What really bugged me about what she said is that she didn't even try to understand or accept that this is what I want. And I want it bad. It's not like I am forcing everyone to like what I'm doing. It isn't permission I am looking for, just a bit of support from my friends, some of whom I have known half my life.
And I don't want everyone to be happy with my decision or to throw a party for me. All I am asking for is a "well, if that's that you want, I hope it'll work out". (Actually, a party would be really nice too.)

Luckily I'm a warrior by nature. A bloodthirsty, bullish hamster. Terminator of negative influence. Meaning, this declaration of my dream ending as a big epic fail just made me want to work for it even harder.
And I've got to say that there really are people who are supporting me in this. Even tho I'm sure they think I'm nuttier than a fruitcake. That's alright.

Really kids, even if the people that want to bring you down are people you have known for a long time, don't let them. Don't let anyone bring you down! (insert manic hand gesture here)
If you want something, go for it. If you'll fall get up again and brush the dirt off your face. You're the only one who can tell yourself that you can't do it - and you don't have to listen.

POW! Deep.