Bye bye, 2013

Oh there it is: the last day of 2013.

I cannot believe the year’s over already! It’s gone so quickly… I just love how the city is buzzing with excitement. Everyone has put on something nice and sparkly to welcome the new year.

2013 was a great one. I have settled more into my life in London now, got a permanent contract at work and I am still not tired of this beautiful city. Success!

But it had some rough patches as well. There was a lot to take in as I faced things that I have been avoiding for a very long time. Turns out there’s always something new to learn about yourself.

Luckily there is always a bright side to everything. So facing these issues has been one bumpy ride, yes, but it has shown me again how lucky I am to have such supportive and wonderful people in my life.

My friends have been very understanding and just never get tired of reminding me of the good things when I tend to see only the negative side. As well as my family, whose love and support give me so much strength.

And, boy, did I have good times this year. I’ve spent quite some time at airports going from England to Germany back to England and then four months later do it all over again. London blessed me with another beautiful, warm summer filled with adventures. And going to the pub with ze Jules and other colleagues or spending a day at Westfields with Fatima is adding up to many, many hours of laughter, drinks and food.

And I’ve gotten back into dancing, which will hopefully stay in my life for ever now.

This year was about learning and accepting and having fun. And it was fantastic. Thank you, 2013.

So I don’t have any specific goals for 2014. No long list of things to do or fixed plans to stick to. 2014 is going to be about improvement, preparation and security.

I have to keep my finances is check, mate! And I will probably spend a lot of time studying my buttocks off – these A levels are not gonna write themselves….unfortunately. Another big thing for me will be feeling secure – in relationships and about myself.

And now it's just a couple of hours until midnight…

But tonight I am going to stay inside, have a little piece of chocolate cake and watch the fireworks in my jim-jams.

I wish you all a very happy new year. May 2014 bring you loads of love, laughter and happiness – and a pocket full of magic!

Christmas at Home

Here we are again. I have just arrived in Frankfurt airport and am now on my way back to my place in the wilderness. Kidding.

It is very late and I am running on about 5 hours of sleep. Last minute packing – not again. But I made it. Getting up, going to work, working, getting to the airport, flying, leaving the airport.

And even tho I am pretty knackered I could not help but notice that Frankfurt is getting more charming with every return. Staff at the airport is so nice, their smile could freeze hell. And the helpful guy who charged my 6 quid for two bottles of iced tea. And changing trains in Germany is a bitch.

But it’s all good and it’s all worth it. Because I can be home for Christmas! I will have food and pressies and cocktails and more food. Food until I pass out! And we will put up a huge tree and lots of Christmas light. I am gonna Christmas the shit out of this one, people!

Have you got all your lights and trees and presents out already, guys? Or are you really late to the party?

I was a bit down last year because I could not be with my family for Christmas due to work. It wasn’t too bad, I had a very nice English Christmas (including the veggies from hell – Brussel sprouts!) with a bunch of lovely people. But it’s just not the same….

So I am even more excited this year. Christmas is, as you might know by now, my favourite time of the year and I love our traditional meal (which is not very traditional) and being with the family and my ladies. Plus, this year we will have two little gems at our table and Mama K and the Princess are back as well.

Oh, I have to get off the train… I hope you’ll all have a wonderful, magical Christmas. Let’s hope Santa brings you a load full of awesomeness!

Thank You, Universe

Christmas Season! My favourite season of the year! And this year I even get to go home to Germany to celebrate this fantastic holiday with my family. My crazy, wonderful family.

During this most jolly time of the year I think it is always very nice to say thank you. So I go around, giving hugs and love and kisses to all my dear ones and say thank you.

Thank you to my family, who love me unconditionally.

Thank you to my ladies, who know me and still don’t leave.

Thank you London for being beautiful and a place I can call home.

Thank you to everyone at work for not kicking me out.

These are the most important peeps/things in my life right now and I am SO THANKFUL! But I want to take this chance to express my utter gratefulness for all the other amazing things in my live. Like books, I love books. Thank you to everyone who writes books, to everyone who prints them, to all the trees and the ink and the blood, sweat and tears that go into making a book. Thank you. I love books, really.

And I am thankful for my smartphone. Because without my iPhone I couldn’t talk to my loved ones in Germany that easily. Or watch cute cat videos on my way to work. Or even get to work. And I can listen to music while I’m out and take pictures of places I go. So thank you to all the smart people involved.

McFLY, I am thankful beyond words for this band, their music and just… Thank you, Harry, Danny, Tom and Dougie for being the most awesome, hilarious, genuine, wonderful band a fan could wish for.

My favourite article of clothing: sweatpants! Thank you, whoever came up with the idea to make huge, wide, snuggly sweatpants. The bigger, the better! There is nothing like coming home from work or a day/night out and getting out of your jeans, tights, skirts or leggings and put on some nice, comfy, big sweatpants, am I right?

And cats. Cats! Thank you, Mother Nature, for making cats. My cats. Your cats. Big cats. Fat cats. Just cats in general. They make me happy and they are so soft and cuddly and if they’re pissed off they don’t give a shit. I love cats.

Oh, there are so many things I am thankful for. Chocolate, and ice tea, and Starbucks and planes and fruit cocktails,… hach!  But I think I should stop here. Made my point.

I hope that you will find some time this Christmas to tell people that you are thankful, for them or something else. Just a few minutes, maybe.

One last thing: Thank you, person reading this, for reading this.

And yes, I wanted to post this on Thanksgiving. Sorry, I’m late.

The Shining Girls by Lauren Beukes

Blurb:

Harper Curtis is a killer who stepped out of the past. Kirby Mazrachi is the girl who was never meant to have a future.

Kirby is the last shining girl, one of the bright young women, burning with potential, whose lives Harper is destined to snuff out after he stumbles on a House in Depression-era Chicago that opens on to other times. 

At the urging of the House, Harper inserts himself into the lives of the shining girls, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. He's the ultimate hunter, vanishing into another time after each murder, untraceable-until one of his victims survives.

Determined to bring her would-be killer to justice, Kirby joins the Chicago Sun-Times to work with the ex-homicide reporter, Dan Velasquez, who covered her case. Soon Kirby finds herself closing in on the impossible truth . . . 

My thoughts:

I was really looking forward to reading this. A time-travelling killer? Fascinating!

Unfortunately, I have to admit that I was a bit disappointed. I didn’t really like most of the characters and I was constantly waiting for the ”secret” of the house t be explained. I would have liked to know more about the reason of the killing and the house and the objects.

But I did like Kirby, one of the Shining Girls. She’s interesting intense and refreshingly different. Even tho the house and why this is happening wasn’t explained, it did like the ending of the book. But no spoilers.

Lauren Beukes has a great feeling for details and the story didn’t drag or moved too slowly. The three main characters were well developed but I unfortunately didn’t grow on me.

This is an interesting thriller with a twist and was mostly enjoyable. I would still recommend. 

Oh So Fabulous!

Carrie Hope Fletcher, who’s currently starring as Eponine in Les Miserables at the Queen’s Theatre in London, uploaded a pretty amazing video about being healthy and happy. Please take a few minutes to watch it.

Well, I am not as confident as Carrie, so no measuring. But I do love the message of this video.

Love yourself! Be okay with the way you look! You ARE beautiful! Yes, you can wear that!

Believe me when I say that I do know what it feels like to not be comfortable in your own skin. It’s a pretty shitty feeling. And there are still days were I feel bloated and fat and like dressing in a bed sheet so no one will see my wobbly bits. But that’s okay. Because the next day - or even the day after that - I will feel fabulous in my new dress or favourite top.

And please, please, don’t let ANYONE make you feel crap because of what they think of your weigh, height, size, colour, hair… This is you. You are the only person who has to like it.

There will always be someone who won’t like your outfit or your hair colour but the good news is that it doesn’t matter. You are not here to please everyone.

If you want to lose a few pounds, fine, why not. As long as you do it the healthy way and don’t harm yourself or others. If you want to put on some weight, hells yeah! Whatever makes you feel most comfortable and happy – do it!

Sometimes, when I’m extra happy I put on one of my favourite “feelin’ sexy” tunes and have a little dance. Here are a few. Listen and let go, babes:

Jessie J – Sexy Lady

Alicia Keys – Girl On Fire 

McFLY – Party Girl 

Ellie Goulding – Burn 

Scouting for Girls – She’s So Lovely 

Shirley Bassey – Big Spender 

ABBA – Dancing Queen

I hope that Carrie’s video and this post have made your day a little bit brighter. You look fabulous, you ARE fabulous!

It's November! Wait... what?

Can you believe it is November already?! Halloween is over and Christmas is just around the corner. Where has the year gone?

And with 2014 fast approaching I have realised: I AM TURNING 24! What…? How…? When…? TWENTY-FOUR? Seems unreal. Funny enough, I find myself in situations I thought I would have been in five years ago.

I have just started my A levels. Not wanting to leave England but being unsure as to whether studying in English would be wise I have signed up to do them online – in German. So for now I will stay in beautiful London until the finals, which are about 36 months away.

Then there is a weird thing going on between me and a guy. Which should be SO five years ago! Duh!

And when I have turned 24, am I then in my mid-twenties? Surely with being just one year away from celebrating a quarter of a century of existence I can no longer refer to myself as being in my early twenties.

It’s not about being “old”. Twenty-four is not old! (Shhh, no one argue with that!) But I really don’t feel mid-twentyish. More like 19, sometimes even 8 or 80, but not 24. Not that I’d want to be 19 again, wasn’t the best year of my life, to be honest.

But at the same time I wonder what being 24 is supposed to feel like? Is there a guide book? Can I get it on Amazon? If there was something like that I doubt I could follow the rules. For the last decade I’ve been hanging out with people who are usually a few years older than me. Which should probably make me more mature – but it doesn’t. More like the opposite really.

…..

I just order Pizza online. I think that makes me a pretty grown ass 23 year old. I will worry more about being 24 when I hit it.

I miss you. I’m missing out.

Once again I am packing my suitcase. Once again I am counting down the days. I am going on holiday. Holidays at home.

It’s been about four months since my last trip to Germany, and I cannot wait to see my loved ones again. Less than a week to go!

I got two weeks off, which will be my longest stay since I left Germany, and even though I have nothing planned really it will be busy.

There are a lot of things happening at the moment and me living in London means that I miss out on most of them.

My cousins just had their babies – two gorgeous little baby girls. The Bestie moved in her first apartment. My Princess and the little Rock star are growing and learning and exploring more and more of the world every day. My brother started his first job. And so on….

Of course I get pictures and emails and I text and Skype and phone them all on a regular basis, but it’s not the same as actually being there.

And it’s not just about the big changes; it’s the small things that I miss the most. Hanging out with my girls. Being unproductive with the Bestie. My old room and the view. Watching telly with the Mumsy. Having breakfast with my brother. Being able to see the stars. Playing with the tabbies. These are the things I miss the most when I’m away.

Don’t get me wrong, I love living here. I choose to do so and I have no plans of changing this in the near future. But it does suck that I am not there to see all those wonderful things happening. And it sucks that I can’t share this beautiful city with them.

But when I’m down I just pick up the phone and call my ladies or my family (wish I could call my cats as well), and that makes it a whole lot easier.

The Boat Party

A few days ago my company threw a boat party! Wicked, innit!

Right after work I changed shoes and we boarded the boat that would take us for a few rounds on the Thames. First thing I realised: new high heels on a boat are really not a good idea…

We started our night of wobbliness with a cool glass of white and turned the cabin into a dance floor. I work for an amazing company and being a fun person is actually in the job description so every time we have a work-related event it’s not just all business but a good old laugh as well.

I’ve done little boat trips but I’ve not been on the Thames before so it was wonderful to see beautiful London pass by while the sun was slowly setting. And of course there had to be food! We had a huge buffet and a BBQ and – CHOCOLATE CAKE! Delicious!

I was wearing new super amazing heels and I was so exciting about their first outing but after about 1,5 hours I had to give in and swop my heels for flats, because let’s face it ladies, dancing is so much more fun in flats! And it’s no real party without a little karaoke! Doesn’t have to sound great, just give it all you’ve got.

We had about 4 hours on the boat and once the sun was down and the lights of London came out to play the view was incredible. I am a sucker for big city lights and passing all those bridges and buildings was another reminder of why love this place so much! Fabulous!

Honestly, I had a ball and if you come to London and it isn’t raining, and you want to spend a few hours partying while enjoying the city’s lights go grab some mates, get on a boat and turn up the beat!

The Lies You Told Me by Jessica Ruston

Blurb:

When Klara was a child her mother vanished from her life. All she has left is a handful of stories, passed down from the father who raised her. Klara believes she has long ago come to terms with her mother’s disappearance, but then she receives a note and a key from someone who call themselves ‘N.R’. These lead her to a store room, full of the remnants of her mother’s past, Klara discovers a woman who doesn’t quite match the portrait her father had painstakingly painted for her, and a story that leads her to question everything – and everyone – she thought she knew…

My thoughts:

I got his book at the GLAMOUR book club event I’ve told you about and I was over the moon when Jessica Ruston signed my copy. I couldn’t wait to start reading.

This beautiful book will take you on a rollercoaster of emotions!

It all starts with the letter and key Klara receives in the mail. She doesn’t know who N.R. is and she’s certainly didn’t know that there is a store room full of her mother’s belongings. The content of the store room and all the unanswered questions - new and old - send Klara on a journey she will never forget as she discovers who Sadie really was.

I’ve loved this book from the start! The characters are fascinating and so is each of their stories. Even when I wasn’t reading I was trying to figure out what would happen next, and most importantly, what happened to Klara’s mother? Why is her father lying? What kind of life did Sadie lead? And why had she disappeared?

The Lies You Told Me is a must-read!  It’s a trip down memory lane you won’t forget that easily.

Billy and Me by Giovanna Fletcher

Blurb:

Sophie May has a secret.

One that she’s successfully kept for years. It’s meant that she’s had to give up her dreams of going to university and travelling the world to stay in her little village, living with her mum and working in the local teashop.

But then she meets the gorgeous Billy – an actor with ambitions to make it to the top. And when they fall in love, Sophie is whisked away from the comfort of her life into Billy’s glamorous – but ruthless – world.

Their relationship throws Sophie right into the spotlight after years of shying away from attention. Can she handle the constant scrutiny that comes with being with Billy? And most of all, is she ready for her secret heartbreak to be discovered and shared with the nation?

My thoughts:

I’ve loved this book – totally and absolutely!

Sophie May and Billy Busking meet at the location of the heartthrob’s new movie and it’s not long before the first picture of them hit the newsstands.

When Sophie decides to leave the familiar and quite streets of Rosefont Hill behind and joins Billy in his nifty apartment in central London she has to realise that being the girlfriend of a man in the spotlight is not just glamorous. Sophie discovers that there is a lot more going on behind the scenes than she’d have thought.

Billy and Sophie try to build a relationship between award shows, designer clothes, coffee, ex-girlfriends and the busy streets of London. And there is something in Sophie’s past that Billy has not heard about yet.

I've been looking forward to reading Billy and Me ever since Giovanna Fletcher announced that she’d be publishing her debut novel in 2013. It was well worth the wait.

This is the perfect book to read in the sun, giving the characters and plot your full attention while you soak up your Vitamin D. You won’t be able to resist Molly, Sophie, Billy and Sophie’s mum while they're all trying to find their way – in and out. It’s a beautiful story about friendship, dreams and love.

One more thing – have your tissues ready!

Books and the Summer

It is HOT in London. The papers call it heat wave, I call it summer.

I have spent my last few days grilling in the sun and reading. Go British summer!

And I had two truly brilliant books to read. I went to the GLAMOUR book club live event on July 3^rd at the The Condé Nast College of Fashion & Design. It was absolutely GLAMOURous! Jessica Ruston, author of The Lies You Told Me, and Adele Parks, who’s latest release The State We’re In just hit the shelves, came to talk about their books, writing and the business.

We were greeted with a glass of bubbly and snacks to nibble at, which we enjoyed during the discussing. I even had the chance to have a small chat with Adele Parks before we all sat down.

Afterwards we got the chance to buy the new books and get them signed. How every exciting! My first signed copies! And GLAMOUR wouldn’t let us leave empty-handed either. We all got a GLAMOUR goodie bag filled with nice lotions, creams and sprays to treat ourselves with – and some delicious chocolate.

It was an amazing event which gave me the chance to ask questions, meeting new and exciting people, and spent an entire evening listening and talked about something I am passionate about – books. I really hope GLAMOUR will host another book club event soon!

The reviews for The State We’re In and The Lies You Told Me will be up on the blog soon. But I tell you this – they’re both page-turners!

The Big O(h)!

Well, it’s been a long way from thinking about writing this to actually doing it. Not because I wasn’t sure, but because I wasn’t ready. But now I am – ready to talk about The Big O.

I am in my early twenties and I have just gotten over The Big O. What is The Big O, you ask, and what with the capital letters? The Big O is similar to The One. You are in love; you can’t imagine anyone else by your side. It’s serious and you fantasies about your future and you ask yourself how the hell you’ve getting into this. Big difference: He is NOT The One.

You might not call him The Big O; you might call him arsehole, the first you’ve ever loved, THAT one, you-know-who or simply ex-boyfriend. But he’s there, in your past. A lesson you had to learn, and boy, did you learn!

I had been friends with The Big O for years and to be completely honest, I haven’t got a clue how this all happened. But it did. I fell in love. Gradually, I guess. It wasn’t like I woke up one morning and BAM I was in love, no. It was more like watching someone paint a picture. First, you have no idea what this is supposed to be, but as the artist adds more layers, more colour, you slowly start to recognise shapes and once he’s finished you go “Of course!”.

Even before my big ah-ha moment I had spent countless nights, texts and energy trying to please him, managing my days so I would see him as much as possible. About 3 years. But I didn’t mind. We were friends. We had fun.

But then I decided to do something for myself and left the country. We kept in touch over the year and I can’t even count all the I-miss-yous and I-wish-we-were-heres and everything-sucks-withouts he threw across the Atlantic.  But by the time I got back he had a new girlfriend. Our relationship was over before it could even begin.

But the story doesn’t end here. What’s a new girlfriend? Sneaking a kiss, unspoken promises… it didn’t stop. I spent months trying to decipher everything he did and said, and I went out of my way to make sure we saw each other. But after four months I was drained. He was still with his girlfriend, and I was still his puppet. And by the beginning of autumn he was gone, and I was a crying, exhausted pile of sadness. We had stopped seeing each other over the summer. No more chasing, no more flirting. I didn’t know how to go on without him but I knew I couldn’t keep doing this either.

It’s thanks to my wonderful friends that I got my shit together so quickly. They let me mourn and be sad and always offered a shoulder to cry on – literally. But when the time came, they kicked my arse and reminded me of what I had, despite all the things (or someone) I didn’t.

Just the other day I was talking to one of my girls about him and she said: “Honestly, for a long time I didn’t think you’d get over him.” And it made me realise how far I’d come over the last year.

Maybe your Big O is someone you had an actually relationship with, or someone you’d loved and got rejected by, or someone who doesn’t even know your name – but you gave him or her all you’ve got, and it broke your heart.

But the good news is, you will get over it. Maybe it’ll take a year, a rebound crush and moving countries, but you will.

Hamburg's city lights

I spent my last day in Germany with all my favourite people. I saw my girl Marlain and the Bestie and ended the night on the sofa watching a movie with the Mumsy.

The last night is always the hardest because I am torn between going out and staying in. Times like that I do wish I could be in more than one place at the same time.

But let me tell you about Marlain’s and my trip to Hamburg….

We left early Monday morning, ready to explore the North. And against all odds, we did make it in less than 10 hours and in one piece; quite alive too. Our to-do list was quite long and we managed to do…nothing. No, not true.

We walked along the river, which I was very much looking forward to and we even had our own private city guide who, I am sure, has missed walking along the water with me. Unfortunately, I was raining cats and dogs so it was not as great as it could have been. I, living in London, was not much bothered by the wet weather but my girl was very much against spending the night catching a cold so we got hot chocolate and Marlain even lost her falafel virginity.

One thing you can’t miss out on in Hamburg is the Reeperbahn, which is lined with sex shops, brothels and the like. I think it might look a bit creepier during the day than at night but interesting nonetheless. We did not enter one of those buildings, sorry to disappoint on the naughty news front here.

And because we were on holiday we decided to treat ourselves to a few happy hour 4 pm cocktails. Yum! Oh and food, lots and lots of delicious food!

I have to admit, I pictured Hamburg a little differently. Not really more beautiful but maybe more…exciting? When we planned this trip we talked about bars and clubs filled with young, hot, well-dressed people partying the night away, downing shots and popping champagne bottles.

Didn't see any of that. I’m not saying that doesn't happen, we might have just ended up exploring the wrong nightlife part of the city.

But to be fair, tropical cocktails and a good old laugh with my girl is more fun than any club could ever be!

So we left Hamburg with a slight hangover, drenched clothes and – as always – loads of wonderful memories.

Was Hamburg worth the trip? Definitely! The food is incredible up there! Just make sure it won’t rain when you want to go…

I do miss my old room, and my loved ones and sometimes even the quite, but for the first time since I came to London I felt like I could leave Germany without freaking out about it. I usually worry myself sick about everything that might happen while I’m gone but this time I felt like… it’s gonna be okay.

And now that the sun has decided to finally show its face in London, I am (almost) ready for another wonderful summer in the city!

Holidays at home

*what happened yesterday*

Back in Germany.

Although it’s only been four months since I’ve waited at Frankfurt main station in this very same spot, I still need a couple of hours to get used to everything. I’m aware it’s still Europe and just a short plane ride away, but still.

Talking German on a daily basis is not new; everyone else talking German is tho. Everything sounds very different.

I got up at 5 a.m., threw another pair of shoes in my suitcase and headed for the airport. Creepy how quite London can be… But nothing like being surrounded by screaming children in the cosy atmosphere inside of a plane. Hurray! I did manage do snooze for about 10 minutes tho.

And now I am on my way to the countryside. From England’s capital with more than 8 million human beings back to woods, cows and awful public transport. And I am really looking forward to it. Not the damn, basically none-existing, public transport, but to the view from my old room, my cats and family and the Bestie. And to being able to see the stars at night!

(An elderly lady next to me on the train has a plate of cake on her lap. Hmm! Bestie,  get baking!)

Got to admit, I’m a bit disappointed by the grey sky that’s greeting me here! Over the last few days it’d been sunny in good ol’ London town. A bit breezy maybe, but not that grey.  I hope Germany will lighten up a bit, especially up north since I want to walk along the river in Hamburg. No rain!

However, it looks a lot more… springlike here. Very green.

I can’t wait to get to our house, get some kitty kisses, and hugs hugs hugs from my loved ones. Much needed, to be honest.

2013 - let's do this!

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!

I hope you all had a wonderful last day of 2012 and the hangovers are not too bad.


Before we get to the resolutions for 2013, let's reflect a little on the last year.
2012 was super exciting. I pretty much changed my entire life; moving to London my suitcase packed with big dreams and a lot of hope. What an adventure!
It turned out quite well. I spent 5 months with an incredible family, saw Her Majesty, meet both my idols, enjoyed the Olympics and a wonderful, sunny, sushi-filled summer in one of the most beautiful cities on earth. I made new friends, laughed a lot and learned even more. Although I've worried a lot about living on my own, playing grown up and starting a new job, everything turned out just fine. And the English winter is not THAT bad...
I must say, 2012 was pretty good to me.

There have been a few lows, especially the last few weeks, but I am entirely grateful for everything that's happened last year.


So my plans for 2013 are simple but crucial. I am going to take care of myself. There have been things that I have neglected, ignored, suppressed or simply forgotten. Time to start sorting those out.
I will also take the first steps towards building the career I want. And yes, this will include more updates on this blog.
Oh, and I will try to swear less. Fucking bad habit!

That's it. No diet plans, no fitness club membership, no deadlines. Whatever comes along, I'll take it and - like my French Friend would say - make it happen.


I hope that 2013 brings you nothing but happiness and love and everything else you wish for.


Thank you 2012. Bring it on, 2013!